Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: Forget about
being 'Likable'
Nigerian novelist and renowned feminist thinker Chimamanda
Ngozi Adichie gave a speech at the 2015 Girls Write Now
awards ceremony about the pitfalls of pursuing likability.
Women are taught from a young age to be inoffensive, Adichie
explains, which can ultimately stunt our growth as human
beings, preventing us from leading fully self-actualized lives.
She said:
I think that what our society teaches young girls, and I
think it’s also something that’s quite difficult for even
older women and self-professed feminists to shrug off,
is that idea that likability is an essential part of you, of
the space you occupy in the world, that you’re
supposed to twist yourself into shapes to make
yourself likable, that you’re supposed to hold back
sometimes, pull back, don’t quite say, don’t be too
pushy, because you have to be likable.
And I say that’s bullshit.
So what I want to say to young girls is forget about
likability. If you start thinking about being likable you
are not going to tell your story honestly, because you
are going to be so concerned with not offending, and
that’s going to ruin your story.
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